You want your relationship to work and you want it to last, right? But it can be so hard sometimes, can’t it. Oftentimes what makes our relationships so hard is simply our beliefs of the way it should be. We think things should be a certain way, and they’re simply not.  Sometimes when you are trying to find advice about things that make a relationship work, it turns out to be worse than when you started.

There are many ‘experts’ out there that claim many things are true to have an ideal relationship but this is the real world, and some of these myths might just end up destroying your relationship rather than saving it.

Read on to find out 7 beliefs that can ruin your relationship.

1. What We Have Defines Us

There are many material aspects to life that are appropriately necessary to a happy life and freedom. This never applies, however at the cost of destroying your relationships to achieve it.

You and your partner should not be substituting luxury for connection or emotional gratification. Buying a lot of stuff, especially if you’re buying it with money you don’t have, rarely works out.

When you focus on your stuff, the loser is your relationship.

2. You’re Supposed to Love Everything About Them

There is absolutely no way that you will love everything about your partner. After all, they are only human and there will inevitably be things that irritate you or make you angry. Most of the time, habits and behaviors can be changed with a bit of effort and the key here is communication between the two of you. Remember to separate the fact that your partner is the not the culmination of their bad habits and grievances, just the same as you are not either.

3. Relationships Shouldn’t Require Work

This one is wrong on so many levels. Honestly, when you don’t work at anything then how can you ever achieve any modicum of success? The same holds true for your relationships. Many people are groomed these days to think that relationships should be effortless and easy, but the best (not to mention strongest) relationships have been found in couples that have worked hard to keep it that way.

4. You Have to Give Up the Things You Like

How can you ever strive to make your relationship better if you take out all the things that actually bring you joy? You can’t and it’s as simple as that. The only thing you will feel (and build up over time) is pure resentment for your partner, even if it wasn’t them that made you do it. Stay unique and stay you. Relationships work better that way.

5. ‘Fixing’ Your Partner is the Surest Sign of Love

You got involved with your partner at the very start because of who they were. That not only includes their positive aspects but also their negatives. As the relationship was new, most negatives were simply overlooked or not seen but as the two of you begin to share more with each other, these things can become a problem. Just remember that acceptance is key and trying to change someone will always end badly.

6. A Knight in Shining Armor will Rescue Me

Most of the time, there is no knight in shining armor. It’s something that only happens in fantastical movies and stories. As you grow up, many little girls are often told stories about their dream man and make some pretty tall demands, with this myth being constantly expressed through our society to make matters worse. Sometimes it will be you who does the saving, others will be your partner. This is how it works in true relationships.

7. Talking Without Walking

In every case whether it be love or any other area, what you do is just as important as what you say, if not more. Simply saying you love your partner is fine, but show them you love them through your actions as well.